Forever in my mind, only you. The pieces in my life run away with you.– Lullabies, Adventure Club Remix
Have you ever tossed and turned in bed, trying your best to sleep, only to check the time every ten to thirty minutes and realize all efforts are in vain? Does everything from the past come to you in a rush—all the laughter and the strife—and you wished it should have lasted forever?
What does forever even mean? And why do people no longer believe in it?
Forever. A circle. No beginning, no end. Unfathomable by a human’s finite mind, unbound from the basic entity of Time. Humans do not believe it because no one is immortal; all must bow down to the Great Equalizer and no one comes from the grave to tell the tale. And yet it seems to me that everyone was born with a longing for it. Whether it be an infinity bigger than the other infinity that is defined by the belief (or unbelief) of death after life, every human being speaks of it and is drawn to it in one way or another.
Whatever we bring into the full length of our lives is already considered what we bring to Forever. Although a great many do not believe in the life after death, I would still bring back my point wherein to them, Forever is the same as ’til death do us part. For those of us who do believe in such an immortality of soul, we take note that there what we do here in the finite world is what we bring to our Infinite Home. So what exactly marks your Forever?
Many people have lost hope in immortality, whatever form it may be (love, life, all good things), for one reason: Entropy.
We see that nothing lasts, and only change is constant. Even change is as constant as its own name, for things do not always yield into our desired result. It is neither for bad nor for good, depending on the perspective. The technology in our hands last only until the glitches start to manifest. Natural resources dwindle. We finish wine bottles, and we lose our innocence. Some of us have seen marriages fall apart right before our eyes (so much for ’til death do us part. I wonder what they say in vows nowadays? But that is for another time). All that promised immortality—love, life, resources, eternal vows—have all failed us more than once in our lives. We, as a race, have grown numb to such a thing as Forever. Once uttered, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth—a side effect of disbelief. There seems to be too much misery chained to its connotation. And most of us bring this connotation to the grave (and beyond, to those who believe in Beyond).
Not all of us have the luxury of having a proper foretaste of Forever, either. Not all of us were caressed by their true mothers, when mothers are well-known for love and sacrifice and eternal connection. Not all of us were protected by their fathers—some were even abused by what should have been the pillar of hope, peace, and protection. All walls cave in for such people. To some betrothed, they lose their love to sickness, famine, or war. Forever was at hand, yet it was snatched away. Please do note that I have only had the opportunity to ponder on the disbelief and not the unbelief of the Forever I know of. So what does mark your Forever?
Is it of hate or unforgiveness?
Is it of vain strife and just the general bad reputation of Forever?
Or is it the Forever that goes beyond ’til death do us part? The kind that every pessimist hates and every optimist longs for?
After all that has gone in your life, would you still believe in Forever?
With all honesty, I do.