Mini Dialogue

Me:

I’m running out of time. I’m running out of options. All this running is making me forget why I’m here, why I’m staying, why I’m waiting, why I’m still fighting. I am running. Again. This is not how I pictured this part of my life. This is not how I meant to go through life. It’s a dark, endless tunnel. I’m going straight. I am running and running and running.

 

Me:

But at least, this time you’re not running away. There is no other way out of this. At least, this time you’re running straight.

I Should’ve Listened To You

I should’ve listened to you when you said I was wrong.
You saw the flaw yet I insisted there was nothing going on.
I should’ve listened to you when you said you were hurt.
I brushed it all aside and never thought to swallow my pride.

I should’ve seen it coming.
All the signs were deceiving.
I should’ve held my ground
And listened to you.

I still remember clearly when you sensed something fishy.
The affability denied; I should’ve listened to you.
And now I’m stuck in sentimental rubbish
Your wisdom I despised; I should’ve listened to you.

This thorn in me now stings.
I couldn’t stop the bleeding.
I’m filled with regret
Because I didn’t listen to you.

I’m sorry.
In fact, more than sorry.
Is it too late to hear from you?

I should’ve seen it coming.
Now I won’t stop bleeding.
It’s all coming back now
And I strain, I try, to listen to you.

Negatives

What do we do when the negative space between us forms the hourglass of Father Time? Do we move closer to make the sand flow faster? Do we move farther to erase the sand? Or do we grow apart to shatter Time altogether?

Is there no way to keep the sands from shifting? Is there no move that could still the grains and prevent our eyes from losing its lock from one another, or our hands from slipping away from its perfect grip?

What to do.

 

What to do.

This

This is the start of something beautiful.”-This, Ed Sheeran

 

This is him, taking the filth in my life.

This is his faithfulness being evident.

This is him making me the holy and blameless bride that he has always desired—the one to meet him in the runway of clouds and marry him in paradise.

This is him keeping his promise; delivering it himself.

 

 

This is him, my forever.

The Idea Of You

I thought I knew you.

 

You were to me something eternally unreachable that I dare not try to. You were massive in all the wrong places that I thought I’d never be worth your time. I thought I knew every part of you that I didn’t bother working on what we have—or what we don’t have.

 

I thought I knew you, but you proved me wrong.

 

You’ve been beside me all along, and I was just too being selfishly scared to recognize you. You’ve been the one reaching out especially when I thought I didn’t need you. Yes, you still are massive. But my indifference denied me the obvious—that you are more than enough. I’ll never be worthy of your time according to the highest standards, but to you it doesn’t matter. You worked out what we have and gave me what I then didn’t have.

 

Now, I somehow know you.

 

And I want to get to know you better.

 

Day by day.

Graduation

One day, with the widest smile on my face, I hope to say,

“I let you go, and it was all worth it. I hope it’s been worth it for you too.”

 

I will say it some day. My smile will be genuine some day.

It will be worth it.

Some day.

Nada

How can you talk of now? For us, there is no now. – Christine, Love Never Dies

 

Ngayong wala ka na

wala ka nang tuluyan

hindi na ito tulad ng dati na

titigil ang daigdig ko para sa’yo.

 

Hindi na nanaising bumagal ang oras

upang bumagal ang pilit iniiwasang

biglaan mong paglisan.

 

Hindi hihilingin na ika’y manatili.

Hindi hahayaang dumaan ang mga

araw na nanakawin ng mga hiling na himalang

halik sa hangin.

Hindi na muling nawawalan ng dahilan

upang mabuhay.

 

Wala ka na

ngunit tuloy pa rin ang ikot ng daigdig.

Tatakbo pa rin ang oras pasulong.

Tatanggapin na lamang ang katotohanan na ika’y

wala nang tuluyan.

 

Dadaan ang mga araw at sisikaping

bawa’t isa’y maging makabuluhan.

Bubuo ng sariling himala.

Iisa lang lagi ang dahilan ng

pagkabuhay.

 

At iyon ay hindi ikaw.

Dahil wala ka na.

 

Wala ka na ng tuluyan.